The kids and I were watching television together the other day when the trailer for NBC’s ‘The Slap‘ came on the screen. Immediately, both my 12-yr-old son and my 8-yr-old son were entranced by the images they were seeing on the t.v. That’s when my youngest turned to me and said, “Mom, that’s not okay. He slapped that kid.” My oldest quickly asked, “Is that his own son? What did I just see?”
All valid questions that we discussed together… questions I’ve asked myself as a mom and questions I feel are important to discuss with your children. Is it okay to discipline someone else’s child? Have you taught your children to obey authority figures? When is it okay and when does it cross a line?
If you haven’t seen the trailer for the series, check out the ‘First Look.’
1. Behave yourself in public, especially around extended family.
2. You honor our family.
3. Listen and obey authority figures including aunts, uncles, teachers, coaches, etc.
3. If you act up in public, you will regret it when we get home.
To say they put the fear in me, would be an understatement. There’s a funny video by Carlos Mencia where he acts out an incident with his mother before they go to the store. She instructs him not to act up and not to ask for ANYTHING, then slaps him across the head. He jokes about it and says, “Did you just hit me for some sh*t I might do?” That’s how I grew up! Is it a cultural thing? Or do Latino parents just know the magic trick to get their kids to behave? Who knows, but what I DO know is I never took the chance. I couldn’t risk it with my Mom.
You can see the video here. I would embed, but it’s pretty vulgar. What the heck.. why not? Watch it below and accept my apologies for the all the curse words. WARNING: The video below is NOT for the easily offended.
So, I grew up in a household where spanking and physical discipline was the norm. We, as children, were programmed to expect it if we acted up. Are children programmed that way TODAY? Do they have a healthy fear of authority?
It’s definitely different these days. In our home, my husband and I have a corporal policy:
- If you accidentally break a window? We’ll talk about how it happened, make you clean it up, and discuss ways you can work off the money to fix it, but you won’t get a spanking. We’ll talk to you about how to be more responsible to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
- If you break a window because you were mad and throwing a fit? Well, we don’t play that. You will get a spanking. You WILL work it off and you WILL learn why you don’t disrespect your parents and their property.
There’s a difference! There’s a difference between making a mistake and purposely acting out. Kids, and I’ll be honest right now, parents as well… don’t know the difference. Some parents believe hitting a child will scar them in the future. I’m not one of those parents.
My children are older now, but when they were younger our spanking events were very structured.
1. The offense took place.
2. I took their hand and walked them to their room or a private room.
3. If they wouldn’t walk, I physically carried them.
4. I spanked with a paddle, never with my hands (I didn’t want them to start flinching every time I raised my hand to hug them or touch their face. Hands are for loving.)
5. Depending how old they were, that’s how many spankings they got.
6. They cried. Sometimes I cried. We calmed ourselves down together.
7. We talk about why they got disciplined.
8. We prayed together.
9. We walked out together.
All in all our spankings took a VERY long time, on average about an hour. Obviously, I don’t live a fairytale life and that didn’t ALWAYS go as planned, but I needed my kids to understand that discipline is necessary, but force and violence never is. Don’t ever let someone hit you. It’s not acceptable for another parent to hit you (Unless it’s someone on their safety list… yes we have a safety list of people who we trust to care and discipline our children. My kids know exactly who is on this list and who they can trust). It’s not acceptable for ANYONE to hit them. Ever.
So, going back to The Slap? No. It’s NOT okay to hit another person’s child, but in my honest opinion it IS okay to discipline them, especially if they are posing a threat to other children around them. The situation has to be handled before someone gets hurt.
I think that’s why my children were so shocked to see the ACTUAL slap on our television that day. They have learned how to act around adults, how to respect them, but they have also learned how ADULTS should act. They saw both adult and child out of line.
Will you be watching NBC’s ‘The Slap’ tonight? It premieres at 8/7c. Take our poll below and tell us your thoughts below.
Sara Patterson has been blogging since 2007, but took a break for a couple years to tackle the world of news. She was the Social Media Director for a Houston based market 10 news station for over 2 years, but decided it was time to go back to her roots as a parenting blogger so she can spend more time with her family. Follow her personal Twitter account @SocialNewsSara, blogging account @Family_Appeal, or community involvement account @HFTexans.
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