Within a marriage, there lies a big ball of compromise, from the color of your sheets to what kind of bread to buy. He likes white. I love my wheat. Decisions are made jointly on a variety of topics and one just learns to compromise.
The first five, okay… wait.. no… the first eight years, it seemed as if I was the one to give in. Ok. You want hunter green walls in the bathroom? I can live with that. You want to move us 900 miles away from home? Ok. I’m sad, but uh… well… ok. In the last two years of a marriage, I finally felt comfortable saying No. That’s not ok. No. I don’t think it will benefit our family. The fact is, I think, I’ve always felt if I disagreed with him, it would start an argument (everyone knows I’m not good at confrontation), and we’ll be well on our way to divorce. Little did I know that I was dealing with a creature from a different planet.
How stupid of me.
Throughout our marriage, there has always been life on two different planets, funny how I’m just now realizing how different our worlds really are.
He lives on a planet that rotates, very quickly, during daylight hours. We’ll just call it Planet Strike. The atmosphere is usually cold, silent, and predictable. Every blue moon, there is a shift in rotation, in which, there is a risk of an asteroid plummeting down on his existence. They come in all different shapes and sizes including:
- Unrealistic bosses
- Crappy co-workers who don’t pull their own weight
- Time management
- Temptations at the bar
- Pay rate
- Fear of failure
- Pressure to provide
- Temptations online
I, however, live on a planet that rotates very slowly. It’s cold one day, hot the next (and no I’m not talking about Houston, although some would argue they have very creepy similarities), and the days are never the same. Not only is the weather unpredictable, but the inhabitants speak in this language that’s hard to understand yelling things like:
- Stop spitting on me.
- But I was playing the Wii first.
- What homework?
- I never get to do anything fun.
- You asked me to clean my room?
- I don’t know who smeared poop on the wall.
- Nevermind. You don’t understand.
- Green beans?!
- I didn’t hear you all the way.
Really. It’s a language I’ll have to study one day, after I get through the lack of time the day allows. One minute the sun is up. The next minute it’s disappeared. I look at my surrounding environment and wonder how am I ever going to survive?
The creatures here only come in shapes of little people with short legs, chubby fingers, and dirty faces. Oh, how I long for someone, like me, to spend time with, to eat lunch with, to talk to, to, simply say, “You will get through this.”
All in all, after ten years of marriage, I feel like it’s a long way back to the planet we once shared. The journey is long and we’re not even half way.
In fact, I feel like we’ve jumped ship, only to go further and further from each other… Further from the one thing, I can think of, that will keep us sane and happy. Our worlds are so different, that it’s hard to communicate, as if we’ve always lived in these foreign places. It makes it easy to grow accustomed to the planet we separately live on. And the road back? Well…. just keeps getting longer.
Sara Patterson has been blogging since 2007, but took a break for a couple years to tackle the world of news. She was the Social Media Director for a Houston based market 10 news station for over 2 years, but decided it was time to go back to her roots as a parenting blogger so she can spend more time with her family. Follow her personal Twitter account @SocialNewsSara or blogging account @Family_Appeal.
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