I may or may not have mentioned a million times here, on my blog, on Facebook, and Twitter how proud I am of my daughter. Last weekend she won first place in her school district’s UIL Creative Writing competition. Heck, I think I even chatted that up with my mail man. The day she competed she came home on cloud nine. She was beaming telling me all about the story she wrote. Right then, I knew she HAD to have gotten first place, not because the content was just the most original, or because her handwriting is impeccable, but because her passion completely shined through as she told me about it. The love she has for words and her ability to evoke emotion across the paper would be the deciding factor.
Then I thought about it. She wants to be like me. Wait. What?
As her mother, I want the best. We all do. As parents, we want our children to be better than our current selves. We want to see them succeed, and love, and prosper, and have this amazing life that we can witness from afar.
|Mommy/Daughter Coffee Break|
She wants to be a writer, “Just like you Mom.” See. The fact is, although, I love writing in EVERY form, I’m not a professional. I didn’t finish college, much less become this big time novelist or screenwriter.
But that’s what she wants to do.
My husband told me that when he, first saw her, after the competition, she was happy, but when she saw me, she ran to me with open arms, beaming smile from ear to ear, and shouts, “Momma! Are’t you proud?! I got first!!!“
She yearns for me to be proud.
She yearns for my attention.
She yearns for my acceptance.
She yearns for my accolades.
She yearns for a Mother to think she’s just plain awesome.
I can do that. I DO think she’s awesome, but the fact that she looks at me as this perfect, amazing, beautiful mother scares me to death.
I’m so inadequate.
I’m so inperfect.
I’m so unconfident.
I can be weak.
I can be mean.
I can be sarcastic.
I can be quick tempered.
I can be defeated.
My list of inadequacies, far out number the list of my attributes. And she wants to be like me?
So, I can hope that she turn out nothing like me or I can pray that God develops me in strength, courage, faith, and confidence so that I can be a model to her. So that my weaknesses teaches us how to be a better version of ourselves. What about you guys? Do you ever feel like the pressure, as a Mother to your daughter, can get the best of you?
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