I took my kids to lunch yesterday to get our minds straight on how the Back-from-Winter-Break would begin. “We’ll be going to bed at the regular time again, room will be clean, homework done, chores checked off, and mornings will be early,” I was clearly shooting for the moon only to receive, in return, the deepest of their grumbles. “Oh yeah… and I need you guys to know I decided not to be a blogger anymore.”
Our Holiday Break was great, but if there is one thing I learned THIS year as opposed to years past? I’m going to miss these times with them. Yes, the fights have been crazy. Yes, they’ve gone stir crazy. Yes, I was tired of hearing, “I’m BORED,” every five seconds, but sooner or later I won’t have that. So, I spent every chance I could with them during the Holiday, completely crippling any blogging I had scheduled here.
That’s when it happened… I decided to quit.
If you’ve ever known a professional blogger closely, you know how much time blogging consumes. This last Summer was spent in front of a computer half the time when I SHOULD have been making memories with my babies. We should have been at the pool, riding bikes, gardening together. We did those things, but they were few and far between and it was always MORE stressful because I felt like I needed to blog about those outings. I couldn’t just enjoy them without tweeting it or jotting down notes about the new sunscreen we were trying. It’s a constant busy stream. It’s a thought process that is engrained in my head to where the regular day to day life is always just a blog post away.
It was all too much by the time December came around.
When I told my children I’d no longer be a blogger they each had very different reactions… reactions I wasn’t expecting.
9-yr-old son: “MOM! What about the trips to Sea World and going to the movies for free?
8-yr-old daughter: “You can’t do this. Who’s going to get me all those American Girl Dolls?”
4-yr-old son: “You mean, I won’t be getting cool toys in the mail?”
Me: “You guys, you’re missing the point. I don’t blog for you. I don’t blog for toys or trips. I blog for me. I started blogging because I loved it. It was fun. Now? I don’t like it. Now? It’s taken all my energy and time away from you guys and all I want, more than anything, is to be normal again.”
8-yr-old daughter: “Mom, I didn’t know you felt that way. I don’t want you to be unhappy. I want you to love it again. What can we do to help?”
9-yr-old son: “Abby’s right. You are really good at what you do and we can help you. We have camera’s now and we can take any pictures you need and organize the review closet. We can keep Rudy busy so you can blog. We can all do it together… because you love this, Mom. You do.”
4-yr-old son: “Mom, I can play the XBOX with the sound down, so you can concentrate better.”
8-yr-old daughter: “For Christmas, I asked for my own blog, but what I really meant was… what I prayed for was to be just like you. I think your job is so cool and interesting and it gets better every day. Mom, you’re a blogger. Please. Don’t quit.”
I cried. I cried right there at the table because all this stress and all this weight I had on my shoulders to meet deadlines, organize the editorial calender, build my presence after being away for about two weeks…… it’s nothing compared to how my children see me, how they’re inspired by my courage to get up every morning and do what I do… blogging.
So, as I write this post today, expect more reviews, more personal stories, more struggles, and thoughts. Expect me to enjoy it again and expect me to bring my family along for the ride.
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