I was talking to a dear friend of mine a few days ago and we mentioned how tired we both are and how sometimes we feel all we do, whether that be at home or work, just isn’t enough, causing us to feel like we’re running on an empty tank.
So, I thought about that statement all weekend long. I DO feel like I’m running on an empty tank. I DO feel like I go and go and go, yet I’m not seeing any fulfillment. I know my head is telling me to focus on success, but my heart is telling me I’ve been a bit selfish driven. What if all this “going” and all this “ambition” is actually leading me astray? This Music Monday, I have an older song in my heart, that is helping me get through this feeling of what I can only describe as emptiness.
I don’t have your typical “Mom Life,” but according to MOST of my blogger friends, I’m just like them struggling with deadlines, conference calls, campaign collaboration, and traveling, all while balancing a life at home with the kids and husband.
Running a business from home is difficult.
Most days? I get overwhelmed. I cry.
I force myself to focus.
I sit on the end of my seat for the “next big thing” in my inbox.
Will I be jetsetting to a big city again?
Walking down a red carpet?
Signing a contract with a big brand?
Getting the opportunity to meet celebs?
Reviewing that $200 gadget I’ve had my eye on?
Will my stats mirror my hard work?
Can I “wow” the client?
Interviewing with a News Station?
Those are the selfish factors of what I do and it can be addicting. I never dreamed I’d be a professional blogger. I never dreamed that it would render such a life, but here I sit. Here I stand. Here I manage a dream I never knew existed, while nurturing the dreams of my children.
I think that’s why I’m holding this Chris Sligh song in my heart this morning, “I’ve tasted my share of the sweet life and the wild ride and found a little is not quite enough.”
Lord, empty me of this selfishness.
My vain ambition.
The poison of my pride.
Empty me of me.
Fill me with You.
God has blessed me abundantly with the ability to work from home and raise my babies, but this blessing can easily be a distraction and fill me with lesser things. I know my heart. I know how easily I can stray from my family, my job, my husband, and my Savior.
So, I ask you today, just as I asked myself, what kind of selfish things are you holding on to today? Allow yourself to be emptied and see how that surrender can help you lose your grip on that foolish thing your heart holds so dearly. Are you self absorbed? Or Christ absorbed?
Look for Chris Sligh Empty Me on Amazon.com for only .99 download.
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