As we drove down the road, the kids sporadically kicking the back of my seat, my husband turns to me and says, “I need to talk to you about the 29th.” Before he could finish, my OCD kicked in, and my brain immediately turns to my mental calendar. I grin from ear to ear, completely giddy that I can be so organized in my teeny tiny little brain. Then I turn to him and say, “Hmmm. No we’re not busy the 29th, what’s up?”
There’s this party. It’s a company party, kinda. It’s a Birthday party for one the employees, not necessarily thrown by the company per se, but by a client. It’s a party that, apparently, spouses are not invited to. Sound familiar?
While, I completely understand he has HIS work and I have MY work, I don’t think I’ve ever gone to a “party” where he wasn’t invited. In fact, most events I attend I ask if he wants to come (besides events I have to travel to get to). So, what gives? How do you feel about companies who make it a point to leave spouses out? Does it effect the way you perceive the “Boss”? Does it make you suspicious?
I’ve been down this road before, like newlywed-first-five-year-of-marriage-type-road. It can get kinda ugly.
Husband gets home 3:00am.
Husband is drunk off his butt.
The whole NEXT day you’re forced to clean up the vomit in the hallway.
He’s worthless when you need help with the kids.
Yeah. I’ve been there before. Back then, I thought it was his company, but, later, I learned it was him. HE didn’t want me there. HE thought it best to do “business” without his wife attached to his arm. HE, intentionally, left me out.
Now, when I feel like we’re in a place where we can trust each other again, we face the all inclusive Company Party. So, when he mentioned the party and how he’d like to go by himself, I felt a little hurt. I mean, I’m no trophy wife, but I think I hold my own around strangers, big groups, especially co-workers he’d like to make a good impression on. Is he embarrassed of me?
When I mentioned how it was a little upsetting that they would go out of their way to leave spouses out, he told me, “Sara, I just need to do this on my own. The company is still very new to me and it’s a good way for me to meet new clients. It’s not going to be a “social” kinda thing.”
Well, I can respect that.
He wants to talk business.
He’s ALL business.
Putting my sensitivity aside, I made other plans with one of our good family friends. You know… dinner, movie, roadtrip, whatever. Last week? My husband says, “Hmmm.. You made plans? Uhh… I don’t think I’m going to the company party after all. All they’re gonna be doing is drinking and partying. I’m not there anymore. Just not me.”
Have you ever been there? Company Party. Drunk Spouse. Late Night. You left with the kids? How does it make you feel to be left out and how can you better communicate that with your spouse without your doubts or suspicions getting the best of you? To read more about my take on Marriage Matters, click here.
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