I leave to California today and, already, missing my husband. Gag if you will, but it’s hard for us to be apart from each other. Just years ago he traveled weeks out of each month and it caused an enormous strain on our marriage. Now, our marriage has flipped, in that, I’m the one that travels.
During those years when he was gone a lot, I used to think I wish he’d text more. I wish he’d email more. I just want to hear more from him when he’s away. I’ve worked really hard, the last few trips, to organize, pack, and leave no stress for him while I’m gone, but I must admit, haven’t always been successful. So, this trip, while the kids are with their Grandparents, I’ve done a lot of sweet things to communicate how much he’ll be on my mind. I, from experience, know communication is key in your marriage when a spouse travels.
This morning, in the chaos of the packing and preparation, I stopped midway through and thought of ways I can make this easy on the both of us. I want him to feel secure that I won’t do anything stupid or be unfaithful. So, I opened up a devotional book by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.
I was given this just 4 years ago when our marriage was in shambles. In it, I found encouragement and ways a marriage can survive when a spouse travels.
1. As much as possible, don’t leave packing and preparation until the last few hours at home. If you’re rushed and feeling stressed, the chances of a major misunderstanding and of provoking a conflict rise steeply.
2. When a conflict or an argument occurs, do your best to resolve tensions before you leave. Do not let the sun go down on your anger.
3. When you say goodbye, always kiss, hug, and say tender words from your heart. Leave a memory that speaks loudly of your love and commitment. I think I did a BETTER job this time around than I have before.
4. Use the phone to check in. At least once a day. My last business trip, I kept forgetting to call and check in with him. I was so busy and wrapped up in “business” that the most important person was feeling left out. I plan to use a LOT of media to tell him I miss him including texts, pictures, Facebook, Twitter, and other sneaky ideas.
5. Use email to send “I’m thinking of you” and “I love you notes. Emails, nowadays, go STRAIGHT to their phone, so they get your sweet message fast. Don’t rule out leaving love notes around the house too.
6. Pray for one another and with one another. It’s an excellent way to end a call. As much as prayer binds you together when you are at home, it’s needed more when you are separated. We MUST work on this.
Traveling is an adjustment for the entire family, especially the spouses that usually rely on each other on a day to day basis. In fact, my Dad is away for work and my Mom is learning to adjust while he’s gone.
I hope I’ve conveyed how much my husband is missed by me, while I’m gone. We’ll see if I laid the sugar on too thick, but I’m thinking…….. it was just right.
For more information about Dennis Rainey or how to build a spiritual foundation in your marriage, head over to www.familylife.com.
You can purchase Dennis and Barbara Rainey’s Moments With You Devotional at Amazon.com for the suggested retail price of $22.99. DEAL ALERT: It’s $9.20 at Amazon right now!
I’ll be praying that God keeps our love fresh during this time of separation, but moreover I’m evaluating what I can do better each time we need to go through this. Do you have a spouse that travels a lot? How do you communicate to him or her that you love and miss them? How do you make them feel secure in times of separation?
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