It every Parent’s nightmare. Their kid is being bullied at school. What do you do? I, personally, have never experienced this, on a long term basis, with my children, however, I HAVE experienced the sporadic instances where my child has been run over by the “Mean Kid” at the playground.
In fact, just yesterday, we were enjoying a family day out at the park, when my 7-yr-old daughter came to me in tears, barely catching her breath, with her head down, stating, “Momma, I want to go home. The kids here are mean.” I don’t have to say that most Mommas, want to get to the bottom of it. I certainly didn’t miss a beat scanning the park for the bully, but moreover, scanning the park for the PARENTS of that bully.
My daughter was distraught over what happened. I was in panic mode because all I saw was my sweet girl crying, gagging at being so upset. I, softly, put my hands on her cheeks and said, “Abby, I’m here. I want to help. Tell me.. What happened? Who was it? Did he hurt you? Tell me something Honey.”
I took her hand walked to where she was previously and started pointing at kids around the slide.
Was it him?
The guys by the tree?
The boy playing soccer?
Her eyes got big and she stated, “Yes, it was him. He pushed me out of the way and said MOVE YOU STUPID KID.”
Now, C’Mon, who does that?! I know my kids and I know they respect others more than that kid did. I know that I’ve taught them to always play nice, never hit, never name call, and never fight. I can’t say they don’t do that to each other here at home, because they’re kids, they’re siblings, and that happens, however, I’m certain they do not act like that in public.
How do kids learn this kind of behavior? Why do they think it’s acceptable?
With my daughter’s hand, I walked towards the bully, my eyes burning a hole in his overturned baseball cap. I could see his face fill with worry as I got closer. I turned to the adult with him and said:
“Is this your child?”
“This one? He’s your son?”
“Oh, no. No he isn’t.”
Wait, is he your son or not?!
“Listen, he’s, obviously, older than my child. She’s SEVEN, minding her own business, and playing when he pushed her and starting calling her names. It’s ridiculous. It’s uncalled for and cowardly. How does he even THINK that this is ok to do? Tell me.”
“Uh… Uhh… I’ll talk to him.”
That’s it. We didn’t get an apology. He didn’t make his kid (if that was his kid) give an apology. Walking away, furiously, my daughter states she just wants to go home. I couldn’t tell if she wanted to go home because she was still upset or scared or because I embarrassed her.
My question to all of you is… Was I over the line in confronting his parents? On one hand, I need my children to be able to stick up for themselves. On the other hand, this boy was older and bigger than my daughter. Plus, I NEED my children to know that I’ll stand up for them no matter what.
I hope that’s what I conveyed. I hope that was the right call, but more importantly, I hope that my daughter saw a sense of courage in me, in how I handled it, and in herself next time that happens and I’m not around.
Latest posts by Sara Patterson (see all)
- Music Monday: Just Breathe - June 20, 2016
- There is a wolf prowling our schools - May 25, 2016
- Music Monday: I completely adore the song “Priceless” - May 23, 2016