This is going to be more of a rambling of some sort b/c I can’t seem to get all my thoughts together to have structure to this blog. So… that being said– ramble, ramble, ramble.
Have you ever hit a wall? With someone? Or something? Or a circumstance? It’s the end as you know it and you have NO IDEA what to do about it. I’ve hit that wall and frankly I’m still unconsience by it… almost like I ran straight into it, fell down on my back, and the stars are still circling around my head like in a cartoon. WOW. That hurt.
It seems I have little patience in my situation. I’ve gone the Faithful route for a few months and have come to realize I need more faith. I need more of that trust in God. I need to pray for it b/c if I don’t… I won’t get it. I’ll lose it in lightening speed.
I heard a women call into the radio talking about a Beth Moore study she did. She remembers reading something like, “God uses us to breath life into someone who we may be having problems with, but at the SAME time He uses them to breath death into us.. death of pride, death of self-righteousness, death of guilt, death of selfishness.” It all made sense b/c I struggle with all the above. Do you? (Tell me you do b/c I definataly don’t want to be the only one here.. how embarrassing!)
Anyhow, it’s made me meditate on my patience level lately. I’ll admitt it. I don’t have one when it comes to this person. It’s gone out the window NEVER to return again. What do I do about it? Again, I have no earthly idea, but it brought me to one of the VERY first Psalms I memorized:
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.
How AMAZING! What an utter miracle that God can do that! For US! I sound excited, right? Well, half of me is and half me isn’t. I’m not there yet. I’m still stuck on waited patiently for the Lord. I’m more impatient than a 4 year old at Ben & Jerry’s! I hit that wall of impatience full force and am so angry about it that I can’t physically see past it (or get up from seeing stars).
Hit a wall with someone?
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